Oh, great. Another lost soul. You really thought you'd waltz in here and find… what? Inner peace? A sense of purpose? Newsflash, buddy—this isn’t a yoga retreat.

This is Chill Pill Labs, where impulse buys and questionable life choices collide in a flaming wreck of ‘Why the hell did I just order that?’

We’re not open yet because genius takes time (and mild procrastination). But when we are? Oh, you bet your overstimulated, caffeine-fueled existence that we’ll have the most ridiculous, unnecessary, absolutely essential stuff you never knew you needed.

So sit tight. Go touch some grass. And when we’re live, bring your wallet and a complete disregard for self-control. See ya soon, ya beautiful disaster.